Prince Belphegor's Servants
by RedSoleil
Summary: A semi-SI Belphegor encounters anime's most twisted children, and in his misguided attempts to correct them, ends up with a group of loyal monsters. The Varia all respond differently. Crack-ish. Mature themes, including gore, violence, mentions of child abuse, and necrophilia. Connected but not necessarily chronological one-shots. Chapter 1: Squalo Is Oblivious.
1. Chapter 1

AN: This story will not be formatted in the usual fashion, this is because I have a bad habit of leaving stories unfinished, so while reading this story it would be best if you consider it complete unless there is a new chapter named at the bottom like this one. I don't have any overarching plot planned so that I can leave this story as complete whenever I lose interest, but I do hope you enjoy it. As for the semi-SI bit, it only exists to explain why Belphegor would bother trying to fix the children he collects, after all canon Belphegor does not care what peasants consider to be appropriate behaviour.

The Prologues

Chapter 1: Squalo Is Oblivious

Squalo remains oblivious to the existence of Belphegor's Monsters, going about his daily life without noticing or responding to the madness around him, but that's only to be expected because NoThInG iS wRoNg, (afterall something as horrifying as Belphegor acquiring an army of bloodthirsty children had to be a perverted illusion created by a truly cruel Mist, and everyone knows mist flames feed on belief). Or in attempting to break a mist illusion that doesn't exist through Willing it away, Squalo activates his secondary mist flames and unwittingly puts himself under an illusion that everything is normal, at least by Varia standards.

Chapter 2: Xanxus is Torn.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Xanxus Is Torn

Xanxus doesn't know whether he is amused at the terror the little brats inspire in his Varia (including his Officers in some cases), or homicidally pissed that they take after their Prince in being so suicidally Not-Scared-Of-Him. And to make matters worse one or more of them keep leaving miscellaneous organs in his sock drawers. The only consolation he supposes, is that the brats have so far listened to Belphegor's command of 'Don't Kill the Varia Peasants,' so he hasn't lost any of his assassin's yet. Oh, he spoke too soon. Now should he kill the little Fucker and risk pissing off his Storm?

Chapter 3: Luss is Luss, What Were You Expecting?


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Luss is Luss, What Were You Expecting?

Lussuria is ecstatic! So many little darlings running around! The Varia has never been so lively! And it's so sweet of Belphegor to have taken the poor dears in, if Lussuria ever tracks down the people who harmed them they are going to WISH that he had been so merciful as to torture them with tools, sun flames had so MANY uses! And if the kids were just a WEE bloodthirsty, well, it was simply too cute seeing the blood coated sweet-hearts presenting him a new corpse for his collection! They were so considerate!

Chapter 4: Mammon Profits.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Mammon Profits.

Mammon is no stranger to bloodthirsty, freakishly capable, children, they've been part of the Arcobaleno for a few decades now. And while the Arcobaleno are only bloodthirsty adults in the bodies of toddlers, they have had eleven years with Belphegor to acclimate themself. So, Mammon does what Mammon always does, and they find a way to profit off the situation. And boy do they profit. It turns out that the Varia were drastically unprepared to be over-run by mostly benign but homicidal-certifiably-insane-with-weird-ideas-of-what-is-friendly children, so Mammon reaps a fortune by offering to Mist Ward bedrooms, offices, bathrooms, etc. to keep The Children™ out. In bundles of six hours with truly extortionate prices of course. And if Xanxus has taken to glaring murderously at them every time he sees them, well he should've expected that Mammon would refuse to permanently ward his rooms if Xanxus wasn't going to pay their rates. It was right in Mammon's contract when they joined the Varia that they had the right to charge for their services if it was separate from what was necessary to fulfill their obligations to the Varia, including personal requests from Boss himself. Of course, said contract had been written by Mammon themselves and was therefore 3,482 pages long, and Xanxus only made it to page 398, paragraph 3, before he got fed up and signed it. It was his own fault though, Mammon had given him the opportunity to negotiate every part of the contract. So Mammon continued cheerfully raking in truly absurd amounts of money all while keeping their own rooms (and an area 500m in diameter around themself) warded to keep The Children™'s (and Xanxus') attempts to playfully murder them away.

Chapter 5: Levi is a Victim (but he deserves it).


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Levi is a Victim (but he deserves it).

Levi is pissed. The shitheads think its funny to mess with his alarm clocks. They hide them in different parts of the building, they change the times they read so he has to spend hours readjusting them, they change the alarm settings so they all go off at vastly different times so he has no idea when he's supposed to be doing what. How is he supposed to make sure he's always on time if those bastards keep messing with his clocks?! His carefully laid schedule is falling- no- being torn apart by those fucking shit-stains! The Boss is going to be disappointed by his tardiness! That can't be allowed to happen, he has served as a bastion of order and professionalism since the day he joined the Varia! If those little monsters keep this up then he will be unable to serve as the support that Boss desperately needs in order to survive the chaos and insubordination of the rest of the Varia! It was bad enough when he joined eight years ago to find a brat barely out of diapers serving as the Storm Officer! Not to mention that the demonic brat has taken just as much pleasure in tormenting him as his hellspawn! Always throwing his thrice-damned throwing knives into his back, and telling him abusive nonsense like Boss finds him suffocating and would prefer he was dead! That's it! That fucking trumped up brat always claiming to be superior to everyone must have set his pack of yapping breast-suckers after him! Storm Officer or not, his actions have crossed the line and thrown the entirety of the Varia into chaos! Boss might be too soft and weak to properly reign the insubordinate, conspiring, back-stabber in, but he will! It is up to him, just like always, to reassert order on this cesspool of incompetent, brain-dead, miscreants! Those brats aren't even Varia! There's nothing stopping him from killing the sadistic thumb suckers right now!

Chapter 6: Ottavio Trembles.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Wow this chapter got away from me… who would've thought I'd have so much to say for Ottavio? Can you guess who the children in this chapter are? I think it's pretty obvious.

Chapter 6: Ottavio Trembles.

Fuck. Ottavio is fucked. He just ran out of money in his account, so he can't keep paying Mammon to ward his rooms, which means its only a matter of time before sweetly-smiling-but-with-ominous-blank-eyes-and-bloody-axe-held-behind-his(her? Their?)-back comes for him, with that too sweet singsong voice asking if he wants to play. Ottavio is mortified and deeply ashamed to admit that he has nightmares about him and his sister (her and her brother?) chopping him into pieces with the boy's (the girl's?) axe as they smile and laugh with their too big smiles as his blood drenches their forms, while he writhes and screams. And he knows they know. They look at him with predatory smiles as they sense his fear like sharks with blood in the water, and they circle, they watch and they wait for an opening as they close in on him. He still remembers warm breath on his ear, and a far too cloyingly sweet voice, whispering how he and his sister (her and her brother?) were so happy to have met him because he reminded them of someone who played with them in the past (and his guts squirmed because connotations of the word 'play' said in that voice were deeply horrifying, especially with what was said next,) and that they haven't had a chance to repay him for all the 'fun' they had last time, so now they were going to repay HIM, for all the fun some man he'd never had the displeasure of meeting had had with them, by 'playing' with him. And he had the firm certainty that their idea of playing involved causing him excruciating pain if the similarity of their smiles and personalities to Belphegor were any indication.

Why? Why on earth are their MORE, crazy, smiley, murderous children in the world? Wasn't Belphegor enough? And what God, Demon, or Karma decided that they should come into contact with each other? Fuck. This wouldn't be happening if he hadn't been so lazy. He'd gotten complacent because the pay for Officers was more than enough to live on so he hadn't bothered to take any more jobs. He used to scoff and sneer every time the other Officers took on jobs, because why bother with the grunt work when you were paid plenty already? The only other Officer who didn't occasionally take on jobs was Mammon, and they clearly had other ways to make money.

That fucking miser, can't they give him a break? None of the other assassins have attracted those monsters' attention like this! He's going to fucking die because the miserly Mist has more greed than sense! The Varia might have the highest concentration of Clouds than any other organization in the Mafia, but that doesn't mean that any of them will be capable of replacing him as Officer! The other Clouds only joined the Varia because of the lack of expectations being forced on them, and they get to come and go and commit murder as they please. If any of them had WANTED to be Cloud Officer he'd already know because they would've tried to murder him for the position as soon as they signed the Varia paperwork! Every Cloud that's stepped inside the Varia carrying the ambition to be Officer has always tried to kill him immediately, just like he did with the previous Cloud Officer, and when that happens either the challenger kills the Officer and succeeds their position, or they die. There is no other result. Letting the challenging Cloud live to lick their wounds and recover only results in them learning how to counter your techniques and coming back for another go!

Ottavio is intimately aware that if he dies to the terrible twins there will be no Cloud willing to rise up to take his place, at least not until a new Cloud with ambition joins, but even then, Cloud Division will be a mess, because not a single one of his Clouds will be willing to listen to their Officer if they simply step into a vacant position! Either his replacement will be completely ignored until a new Cloud offs them, or they will be systematically challenged one after another by everyone in the Division, which is a death sentence on its own. Clouds don't care about injuries, if you die then you simply weren't strong enough, no ifs, ands, or buts will be acknowledged. Its for similar reasons that he can't ask his division for help! Clouds believe in handling their own battles, if he dies (outside of a challenge for his position) his friends in the division will try to avenge him, but not a one will lift a finger until then. It is simply the way Clouds are.

No, if he wants to live, he's going to have to find a way to sneak out of the Varia to take a bunch of jobs in order to earn enough money to ward his rooms for a week, plus enough in addition so that he can pay Mammon to smuggle him out after the week ends so he can do it all again! Fuck those damn twins, he'd kill them if he could but they're surprisingly strong, not to mention even if he does kill them he'd probably bring the rest of Belphegor's freaks down on his head, and that's not even getting into what the Storm's reaction would be. Or Luss'.

Ottavio resigns himself to living like a terrified rat for however long he can manage to keep this up. He doesn't foresee himself surviving beyond two years, if he gets injured on a job or during a challenge he'll end up in Medical, and Luss has an open-door policy with the little monsters. Luss doesn't approve of people murdering his patients, but that's not going to help him after he's dead.

...

End of Prologues


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Any speech written in italics indicates that the people speaking are either not speaking one of the two main languages from the series (Italian or Japanese), or have switched languages. In this chapter the language that is canonically being spoken the most is English, so I didn't bother to put it all into Italics.

Chapter 7: Belphegor Intervenes

Belphegor was happily skipping along through a particularly seedy city after having finished his most recent job. The Prince had greatly enjoyed his job, the request had been to take out an entire mafia family from the surface mafia, special instructions from the client had been to make their demise as grisly as possible. Such requests were The Prince's favorite, while he was perfectly capable of stealthily eliminating a hundred people in a single building without any of them becoming aware that he was hunting them and without leaving any bodies or evidence -as was required of Varia Quality- The Prince much preferred chasing his targets through buildings or forests as the peasants screamed in mortal terror or foolishly attempted to fight back. Boss was smart enough to understand The Prince's preferences, and he was also aware of the fact that even though The Prince was forbidden from using his Flames when hunting Civilians, it would barely impact his ability to completely overwhelm his opponents and therefore does nothing to dampen his enjoyment of such missions. Knowing all this Boss always kept at least one of these brutal crowd-control slaughters to be completed after the clump of more mundane missions the Boss required of him, so that The Prince would be in a more pleasant mood when he returned, instead of his passive-aggressive seething-sulk that would result if he was made to complete boring missions. The Prince was of course aware of Boss' manipulations to keep him happy, but it suited him just fine, and in fact he modified his behaviour on purpose in order to encourage it, after all it is purely natural for peasants and even warlords like Boss to do their best to accommodate and please Royalty.

The Prince was passing by a park, chuckling rather unsettlingly as he recalled the slaughter of a few hours ago. Despite the seediness of the town The Prince had yet to be accosted by any of the criminals roaming the darkened streets, he was a tad disappointed, the lack of law enforcement that resulted in this city becoming a hot-bed of criminality meant that he would be able to slaughter any foolish enough to interfere with Royalty swiftly and bloodily, without having to worry about a scolding from Boss afterwards. There had been a few times where some of the more Dumb inhabitants of the city had seen his young age and that he was travelling alone and thought him an easy mark, however they were very quickly intercepted by their more intelligent companions who noticed the too wide smirk on his face, and perhaps even the knives that he flicked between his fingers in anticipation, and realized that young he might be, but he was definitely an unrepentant, bloodthirsty killer.

As The Prince was considering the wide-eyed terror of a young pickpocket who'd been preparing to attempt to lift The Prince's wallet -foolish, he never bothered to carry cash, his Varia credit card was ample enough for any purchases he might make, and Mist-warded to be unusable by any but him- and discovered a curved blade held under his chin, his attention was diverted when he noticed the flash of a sniper's scope on the roof of one of the buildings bordering the park. Even as The Prince noticed the glint of reflected light, he realized that its target was not him. So instead of seeking cover, under his long fringe his eyes traced down the sniper's sightline to find their target. The sniper was decent for a Civilian which had The Prince itching with curiosity of what criminal interaction was occurring in the park that warranted a sniper of this skill level. With interest his eyes landed on two people, one an older woman -perhaps in her thirties to forties- with long sandy blond hair wearing a tan trench coat on her shoulders over a red suit, she moves and carries herself like a soldier. The other, however, is what held his attention on the scene instead of simply returning to terrorizing the would-be pickpocket once his curiosity was satisfied. He was a pre-teen -or perhaps already thirteen, but no older- with silver hair similar enough in colour to the Shark's, wearing a semi-gothic outfit with a trench coat of his own in black.

What captured The Prince's attention was that the boy carried himself much the way he did, too big bloodthirsty smile, confidence that he was the most dangerous creature stalking these dark streets, and a deep madness gleaming in the boy's blue eyes. It was almost like looking in a mirror, if he'd been doing so when he was five. The boy does not carry himself with the subtle grace of a truly strong monster. The Prince quickly grew out of his naïve belief in his own strength when he'd strutted into the Varia, and became the Storm Officer instead of the Head of the Varia like he'd intended, because he could not surpass the might of Boss. He'd learned that day that there were monsters far stronger then himself out there, and under Boss, he'd grown to be their equal. This boy had not yet learned this lesson, and was blissfully unaware of the sniper's crosshairs aimed right at his temple.

The now forgotten pickpocket quickly took advantage of his sudden disinterest and vanished down the deserted streets, with a new and unshakable fear of blond boys. While Belphegor of the Varia realized that he did in fact, still possess empathy -which he thought himself incapable of once he'd woken up as an infant and found himself taking perverse joy in the suffering of others, and uncaring of their wishes, their wants, and their happiness- but apparently only in very specific circumstances.

That is why, as the boy throws his arms wide with a perversely ecstatic grin and a taunt spilling from his lips as he twirls, and the woman subtly signals the sniper unbeknownst to the young monster reveling in front of her, Belphegor moved. The Prince covers the distance at a speed most would consider impossible, he stops next to the boy, and with one smooth shove of his hand knocks the boy from his pivot and to the ground beside him as the bullet slams into the concrete path between them. But The Prince is still moving, even as the woman -Russian?- widens her eyes in surprise and begins to tense in preparation of grabbing her gun hidden under her coat, The Prince's other hand pulls taught the noose of wires that he'd sent to ensnare the Russian woman's throat at the same time that he'd shoved the boy. The woman displays that she too can move, and think, quite quickly as she jerks down just enough to catch the razor-sharp wires around her head and through her teeth, instead of across her more vulnerable throat. The wires bite deep into the corners of the woman's mouth and her cheeks, but doesn't come close to the instant kill it would've been if they'd bitten into her throat and the arteries that pass through it, as was intended. She'd acquire new scars to go with the large burn down one side of her face, but she would live awhile longer which would give her a chance to turn the tables again, most likely through the intervention of the sniper still on the roof behind The Prince, the woman is impressive.

But The Prince is already prepared for the sniper. He drags on the wires, jerking the already unbalanced woman off the lip of the fountain that she'd been sitting on and towards The Prince, as she falls she draws the gun from inside her coat and attempts to fire into his chest, he twists just enough to allow the bullets to fly harmlessly past, and then his hand holding the wires is closing into her hair and jerking her up between himself and the sniper. She brings the gun around to fire over her shoulder into his face, but he easily catches the gun with his free hand and aims it upwards before the shot goes off. The Prince then twists the gun out of her hand and aims it at the building where the sniper is situated, he might not like using guns but you can't spend eleven years with Boss and not figure out how they work, besides The Prince is a genius at calculating angles and reading the wind, so he fires three shots at the building even as he shoves the woman further forward so her body stands over the dazed child as well.

The sniper falls from the roof, three gunshot wounds in his face, to the unforgiving ground below, at the same time as Belphegor allows the gun to drop from his hand with a faint look of disgust. The sniper hadn't managed to get even a single shot off since he entered the fray. The boy had been vulnerable for a handful of seconds but the sniper hadn't taken the shot because they'd been too focused on The Prince's assault of the Russian woman. Belphegor sneers in disgust, if that had been a Varia sniper the boy would definitely be dead and then they would've shot out the woman's legs so she dropped like dead-weight and they would've been prepared to fire a bullet into his brain in the few seconds that he was uncovered. Not to go into what Boss would've accomplished. Disappointing.

His dark thoughts were suddenly interrupted as the wires in his hand abruptly went slack as the woman deftly sliced through them with a knife that she'd been hiding on her person. She quickly followed up by slashing up towards the wrist still holding her hair and the now severed wires. Belphegor simply releases the woman's hair and kicks her in the back to send her stumbling away from him.

She twists and faces him down, knife in hand and hellfire blazing in her eyes, but does not immediately lunge at him as she sizes him up. The Prince grins widely at her as knives slip into his fingers, the sniper might've been disappointing but this woman was truly incredible, perhaps not Quality, but she had the potential. "Ushishishishi~" he laughs, "The Prince is impressed by your tenacity peasant. A shame that your sniper was brought down so easily~ This would be a much more interesting battle if you still had a sniper at your back~"

The woman straightens, a coolness settles into her eyes as she looks contemptuously down on him with a fox's smile, made more morbid by the gashes in her mouth, "Prince?" She asks with sceptical amusement. "You think yourself some kind of royalty?" She chuckles condescendingly at him, "oh, that's rich. First a pair of messed-up twins that think themselves some sort of immortal vampires. And now a brat in a crown that thinks he's a prince comes to save them? What are you, Prince of the Vampires?" She laughs uproariously for a minute at her own question.

The Prince scowls for a second at the peasant's disrespect, before his face splits into a massive grin, "ushishishishi~ Royalty need not explain themselves to peasants. Especially since you won't be living long enough for the information to be worth impressing on your feeble brain, peasant."

"Oh?" She questions with haughty amusement. She smirks down at him, "you really think I'm going to die tonight, brat? You must not know who I am."

The Prince tilts his head to the side slightly without losing his mocking smirk, "why should The Prince care?"

The woman's face turns impressively threatening as she pulls out a cigar and lights it one-handed. Well impressive for a peasant maybe, she has nothing on Boss. "You've just pissed on Hotel Moscow, whelp. And I might have been merciful enough to forgive your interfering in our assassination of the brat behind you, but then you went and killed one of my Komrades. You won't be leaving this park alive now."

The Prince throws his head back and laughs in glee, "ushishishishishishishi~ is the peasant feeling more confident now that your minions have come to join us?" As the woman's eyes widen fractionally in surprise, he smiles a sharply predatory smile, "you didn't think that The Prince noticed that you were stalling for time? Ushishi~ The Prince let you, because he wanted to have a more enjoyable fight than the bloody Russian fox could provide on her own~" he singsongs gleefully. "You'll play with The Prince won't you? He wonders how long you'll survive, will you be more entertaining than the Greek peasants from yesterday? The Prince hopes so~"

The woman stills, her eyes suddenly raking over his form once again, before her lips press into a barely noticeable frown of annoyance and she barks suddenly, "we're pulling out! Retreat back to base!" There's an audible shuffling from a few areas around the park, as she turns on her heel and begins striding away. "We're leaving this time, but you'd better take that brat and his sister out of my city or we'll show you all the sort of monsters that the icy hells of Russia spawn."

The Prince sneers at the woman's back as he launches himself at her, "ushishi~ The Prince did not dismiss you peasant."

But before he can make contact a bullet stops him, he skids on his heels a couple inches after he deflects the bullet -that had almost taken out the boy- with a thrown knife, glaring in annoyance at the direction the shot came from -another sniper- as an armored jeep skids into the space that he had been about to occupy, and the Russian fox climbs in on the other side, she parts with, "you have until dawn. Now get out of my city." She slams the door shut and the jeep drives away.

Belphegor stands staring at the retreating jeep in contemplation, it would be easy enough to follow and get the slaughter that the Russian fox denied him, but then the brat would be endangered, it's still unsettling to realize that he DOES care if the brat winds up dead, so with an irritated huff he turns to the boy standing behind him with a battle-axe in hand and smiles, "ushishi, I suppose that you are mine now, peasant. The Russian fox mentioned a sister, you will bring The Prince to collect her."

The boy blinks in surprise before he beams back at Belphegor, "you wish to meet Sorella mea? She is going to be so happy to meet you, your Highness!"

Belphegor preens at the appropriately respectful form of address, before he replies to the boy, "ushishishishi~ Romanian? Interesting. _Yes, The Prince wishes to meet your sister, and he is not in the habit of repeating himself, peasant. Remember that._ " He says, switching to Romanian mid-way.

The boy nods, eyes gleaming in awe, " _I will, your Highness._ "

Belphegor nods once firmly, " _good. Your names_?"

" _I am Hansel, and my sister is Gretel._ " Hansel replies promptly.

Chapter 8: The Russian Fox Licks her Wounds.


	8. Chapter 8

AN: Just a reminder that the opinions and views expressed by the characters in this story don't necessarily reflect my own, and any discrepancies or errors in other languages used, cultures referenced, or even incorrect details from the sources that this story is based on are not intentional, and I would appreciate polite corrections of anything that I get wrong.

Chapter 8: The Russian Fox Licks her Wounds.

Elsewhere, in an armored jeep.

"I don't understand Balalaika, we had the brats outmanned, outgunned, and surrounded. Why did we retreat? They killed our Komrades!" A gruff Russian man asks sourly.

Balalaika was sitting calmly in her seat, one of her other soldiers currently pressing gauze to the bleeding gashes on her face. Upon hearing her soldier's question, she raises a mocking eyebrow at him, "why did we retreat, you ask? Do you not have a brain in that head of yours at all?" As she notices the confusion on the faces of most of the men around her, she sighs aggravatedly, "we retreated because the situation was not in our favor. Just like every other time I have ever called a retreat."

"Not in our favor?" The man who had been tending to Balalaika's injuries asks. "What did you notice that we did not Commander?"

"Did none of you hear him mention Greeks that he'd killed yesterday?" She asks quizzically.

There are a number of head shakes from the men in the vehicle, "I did not Commander, what relevance does that hold anyway?" Replies the man beside her.

She quirks a sardonic smile at them, "relevance? Well considering that the only Greeks that I'd heard about having been murdered yesterday, was the entirety of the Greek crime family operating nearby, and that they'd been brutally torn to pieces until their blood and viscera covered the walls of their base. And there was evidence that they attempted to fight back, but not a single body of those who attacked them were left at the scene?" She slowly eyes each of her men in turn, "why don't you tell me?"

There's a quiet tension in the group as the previous man speaks up again, "you're saying that he's a member of whichever group were capable of slaughtering an entire crime family without casualties, so they would set their sights on Hotel Moscow if we killed him?"

She throws her head back and laughs violently, when she calms down, she levels them with a truly solemn look, "no Komrades, I'm saying that he, alone, was the one responsible for killing the Greeks."

The man asks incredulously, "that child, alone? How could that be possible? He looks like he's only sixteen at most! Sure, he was strong, he had to be in order to kill Sergei and injure you, but assuming that he could accomplish something like that alone is absurd!"

She takes a drag on her cigar, "oh, I'm not assuming anything, trust me. The teenager was obviously as crazy as the boy he was protecting, but the way he interfered with our killing Hansel, how smoothly he incapacitated me, how calmly he responded to my surprise attack, how easily he killed Sergei -he used my handgun in order to shoot a prone target that was above him and at sniping distance, and all of the shots he fired hit home. Three head shots in that situation, can you believe it?- that he knew that I was stalling for time but he let me, and then his body language after he revealed that he knew I had reinforcements indicated that he knew exactly where you all were and was perfectly at ease and in control, means that I don't doubt for a second that he was responsible for the Greeks demise. And in case you all need more convincing, the report I received said that they'd all been killed with blades and wires, specifically curved knives, the sort used for throwing… sound familiar?"

The men turn slightly ashen faced as a number of them eye the gashes on her face with sudden realization, one speaks up quietly, "he threw a curved knife to deflect that last shot that Arseniy took at Hansel."

Another speaks up incredulously, "wait! He deflected that?! I thought Arseniy missed!"

Balalaika snorts, "nope. He definitely deflected it. Was running at me in a full-out sprint, but suddenly twisted in place to send the knife in his hand sailing through the air to knock Arseniy's shot off course. He predicted the course of a sniper's bullet that was fired at a target behind him accurately enough to intercept it. We're pulling out the good Vodka tonight boys, we've danced with the Devil Himself and come out the other side!"


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Belphegor Has an Epiphany (for about half a second and then forgets what he's realized, and the world trembles)

" _It's just through here, your Highness!"_ Hansel calls cheerfully as he skips up the last step of a rickety wooden staircase in a dilapidated apartment building. As he reaches the top step, he grabs the end of the banister and playfully pivots around it to start skipping his way down a hallway.

Belphegor eyes the molding floorboards and the water damaged walls distastefully, as he follows Hansel at a more sedate pace. "Ushishi~ _this is where you and your sister are staying, Hansel? Such quarters are unbefitting of children, mold can cause damage to your lungs."_

Hansel turns on his heel and continues walking backwards in order to beam back at Belphegor, his axe held with both hands behind his back, " _is it? I'm sorry your Highness, me and my sister weren't aware."_

" _It's 'my sister and me,' Hansel. Correct diction is important to demonstrate your superiority over the peasants~"_ Belphegor corrects as he considers the floor suspiciously.

" _Wow! You're so smart, your Highness! My sister and I can learn so much from you!"_ Hansel looks at Belphegor with searching eyes, " _did I say it right this time, your Highness?"_

Belphegor nods shortly with a small smirk on his face, "ushishishi~ _yes, you used the correct diction, if your sister learns as quickly as you do, then The Prince supposes that you'll make good servants."_

Hansel looks surprised, " _you want us to be your servants? I'm not sure we know how to properly attend to Royalty."_ His eyes go very slightly cold and his smile slightly sharper, hands tightening on the axe still held behind him, as he asks, _"is it similar to how we used to attend to our clients?"_

Belphegor surges across the distance between Hansel and himself, shoving Hansel's back into a wall on the right side of the hallway, with a hand firmly gripping his shirt, Belphegor's typical smile is gone from his face and instead he snarls at Hansel, " _you would DARE insinuate that The Prince is on the same level as a paedophilic rapist?! Yes, The Prince is a monster who revels in bloodshed and terror, who dances in blood-spattered halls over the corpses of his victims, and who enjoys the feeling of viscera in his hands. But The Prince is NOT a rapist, OR a paedophile, and he will kill you if you EVER insinuate such again!"_

Hansel's eyes flash with terror for a split second as he's shoved back against the wall, but as he hears Belphegor's words a smile resurfaces on his face, " _I'm sorry your Highness, I was just worried when you said that we'd be serving you, but you've made it clear that my sister and I don't need to fear that from you."_ He beams brilliantly up at Belphegor, completely unfazed by Belphegor's still murderous expression, _"we'd be happy to serve you! It's not every day that we get to meet a more powerful Vampire! Let alone a Prince! But if you don't want us to serve you in the way that we've been taught, then I'm not sure that we'll know what to do…"_ Hansel's face falls slightly as he trails off.

Belphegor huffs slightly as he releases Hansel and straightens up, " _foolish child, The Prince will put you both under the tutelage of his Manservant, he will teach you the proper way to attend to Royalty, and how to comport yourselves with dignity so as not to shame The Prince."_ A truly bloodthirsty grin spreads across Belphegor's face, " _as for the way you were previously treated… well, if The Prince finds ANYONE attempting to do such things to you again, it will be impossible to recollect all of their pieces, because The Prince will see to it that a piece of them winds up in every country on earth~"_ He reaches forward to pat Hansel on the head, " _you are safe with The Prince, he does not allow peasants to harm his possessions~"_

Hansel's eyes go very, very wide as tears gather in them, his lips wobble for just a second, before his mouth spreads into the widest beaming smile Belphegor has seen on his face, " _of course your Highness! Gretel and I will work very hard not to shame you! We are honoured to be your possessions for the rest of our lives!"_

Belphegor has a moment while staring down into the warped/possessive beaming smile of the boy before him where he realizes just how fucked up this situation is, such moments of clarity have occurred very rarely over the course of Belphegor's life, because normally the madness that has possessed him since his rebirth smothers any thought of how things were SUPPOSED to be, or what was NORMAL. But very rarely moments like this occur where he remembers things that were important to the him of _before_ , like kindness, or empathy, or justice. Things that came naturally to him before he was Belphegor, but no longer make much sense to him. However Belphegor was many things, and willing to let go of things that were HIS -even if they were only a part of him _before_ \- was not one of them, so whenever such situations occur where he felt like he UNDERSTOOD what would've been important to the him of _before_ he clings to it with both hands, even after the feeling of understanding passes and he is left following a decision that he no longer comprehends. It is for this reason that Belphegor suddenly finds himself burning with the resolve to FIX this boy and his sister, even after he loses the understanding of exactly what it is that he's supposed to be correcting, and what he is supposed to be turning them into.

Chapter 10: Sorella Mea


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: Sorella Mea

After Belphegor and Hansel pull themselves together, Hansel leads the way into one of the rooms at the end of the hall, he bursts in with a cheerful smile while calling, " _sisteeeer~ you won't believe what I met while out!"_ Only to stop in confusion in the doorway as he finds the room empty. " _Sister?"_

Belphegor clicks his tongue, "tch, _the dust in the hallway did indicate that no one had passed through it within the last six hours, I was hoping that meant that your sister had spent that time in the room, not that she'd left before then. Inconvenient."_ He grumbled.

" _I don't understand, your Highness. Gretel was supposed to be here? Why did she leave?"_ Hansel questions.

Belphegor scans the room before replying, " _it appears that she left in a hurry, perhaps she caught wind that you were going to be attacked?"_

Hansel grips his axe with concern, " _if that's true then she might have gone after the Russians, she could be in danger!"_ While Hansel was speaking Belphegor had been scanning the room and then started walking towards the door. Hansel notices that Belphegor was leaving and questions uncertainly, " _your Highness?"_

Belphegor simply grins toothily back at Hansel, " _come along Hansel."_ Hansel scurries out of the room after Belphegor.

…

Approximately fifteen minutes later at a dock. "Come ooooon Rock! Speed your ass up! We haven't got all day!" A tan woman with purple hair shouts aggressively at an Asian man wearing a suit and tie without the jacket.

The man, called Rock, sighs with suppressed irritation, "you don't need to yell Revy, I'm working as fast as I can and we're nearly loaded. If its such a big deal you COULD help."

"Ahhhh?!" Revy growls as she leans into Rock's face, "that's rich, back-talk from the corporate slave. If you weren't such a pansy we'd be done by now!"

He glares back, plainly annoyed with the woman's behavior, "and if you'd been helping, we would've been finished half an hour ago!"

Revy straightens with a snort, "why the hell should I help, when it was YOUR idea to try to smuggle the thumb-sucker out from under Balalaika's nose? We're damn lucky that she hasn't stormed the dock already!"

"It was the right thing to do! Are you saying that we should've just left her to die?!" Rock yelled.

Revy stares back with flat, dull eyes, "yes."

Rock drops the crate that he was carrying and grabs the front of Revy's black tank top, "Revy! How could you say that?! She's just a child!"

"Ushishishishi~ while it's fascinating to watch peasants squabble, you have something that belongs to The Prince, and he'd like it back." Both the man and the woman freeze at the intrusion of the unfamiliar voice. The woman's head turns to take in the blond teenager with his eyes covered by his fringe, a leather jacket with a crest embroidered over the left side, a white gold crown worn slanted on his head, and the unstable smile stretched across his face. She reaches under Rock's arm that's still gripping her shirt, with one hand to draw one of the guns in the holsters strapped under her armpits, while the other hand shoves Rock away from her so that he tumbles over the edge of the dock and onto the deck of the ship moored beside them.

"I don't recall ever taking anything from you brat, now get lost before I hurt ya!" The woman barks as she levels the gun at Belphegor's head. She has a moment to see the teen's smile widen before he's closing the distance between them, "fuck!" She shouts as she pulls the trigger. Belphegor leans out of the way and the shot sails harmlessly past his head, she reaches with her other hand to draw her second gun as she tries to fire again with the still extended gun. Belphegor ducks under the second shot and before her left hand can draw the gun that she'd wrapped her fingers around he throws one of his knives into the back of her hand. Revy howls from the pain, her hand jerking away from the gun, "Dutch! Get the damn ship moving! We're under attack!" She shouts aggressively.

She registers a figure in black leap past her onto the ship, before she feels something close around the hand wielding the gun and all of the sudden her hand is getting wrenched up behind her head, and she is staring into the face of the insanely smiling blond, as wires dig into the flesh of her hand. "Ushishishishi~ you have good reflexes, peasant~ but you aren't quite as refined as the Russian Fox~" He taunts musically.

She attempts to throw her leg up between Belphegor's legs in a truly brutal kick, but is foiled when Belphegor slices across the inner thigh of her leg with one of his knives, causing Revy to throw her head back and scream as warm blood floods down her leg. "FUCK!" She howls. "You little shit, I'mma kill you!"

Belphegor chuckles, "ushishishi~ The Prince thinks that opportunity has passed." Then he turns his head away to yell at the ship, "hand over Gretel, or The Prince will disembowel the foul-mannered female peasant~" And then he grins like a wolf in a henhouse, "of course it would be more fun if you refused~ The Prince would enjoy slaughtering you all~"

Revy hears a whimper and turns to look at the ship, she sees Hansel sitting on Rock's chest with his axe held against his chin, "your Highness, should I kill this one? We only need one hostage, right?" Hansel smiles brightly at Belphegor.

Revy strains against the wires as she snarls, "get off him, you cocksucker! I'll kill you! I'll chop your body into such small pieces that they'll look like ground beef!"

"Ushishishishi~ you could. But that one's a civilian, not a fighter. The Prince doesn't like to waste his time hunting those who don't hunt others, they're inconsequential." Belphegor responds, as his arms flex from the effort of restraining Revy, but no strain shows on his face.

Hansel pauses as he considers that, "I see… Sorella mea and I usually only hunt those who were connected to the men who took us, I suppose it's unlikely that this one has any connection…" But then Hansel raises his axe for a swing, "of course there's no way to prove right now that he ISN'T connected."

Before Hansel can bring his axe downwards the door to the cabin of the ship slams open, and a dark-skinned man in sunglasses comes out with his hands up, "alright! Alright, we give! We'll give you Gretel! Its not like we were trying to kidnap her in the first place! We thought Hansel was dead and Rock, the man you're about to kill, convinced us that we should try to smuggle Gretel to safety! You see? We were just trying to help!"

Hansel freezes with his axe held aloft and turns to look back down at Rock, "you were trying to protect Sorella mea?" He asks softly.

Rock, with his hands held up, shouts frantically, "yes! Yes, we were trying to protect Gretel! She's safe, she'll be happy to know you're alive! So, could you please get off of me…?" He trails off weakly.

"Ushishi~ and where is she then~?" Belphegor questions sharply.

The man with the sunglasses, steps aside and gestures towards the doorway that he came through, "she's right here." As he gestures, a blond man with glasses steps through, leading a little girl in a gothic dress with the same face and colouring as Hansel.

The girl's eyes widen in surprise as she spots Hansel, they fill with tears as she rushes towards her brother, "Fratele meu!" She shouts.

Hansel drops his axe and moves to meet his sister halfway, "Sorella mea!" They embrace each other on the deck, Gretel burying her face in Hansel's shoulder. "Were these people really trying to help you?" Hansel questions.

Gretel looks up at Hansel with still teary eyes and nods, "yes, Fratele meu. The woman was very rude, but Rock is very nice!"

Belphegor allows the wires to slide through his fingers, freeing the purple haired woman, she stumbles away and hisses at him. She turns to eye the emotional reunion of the twins with an apathetic sneer, "fucking great, I guess the world is all sunshine and rainbows again, huh? I suppose now I'm just supposed to forget that this brat," she jerks a thumb over her shoulder at Belphegor, "fucking caught and filleted me like some sorta Tuna?!" She shouts.

Belphegor grins at her as he flicks a couple knives between his fingers, Revy's hackles rise and she glares murderously at him, but before she can lunge at him, the man with the sunglasses interrupts, "leave it Revy! Are you really in such a hurry to die that you're going to pick a fight when it's no longer needed?"

Revy's head snaps over to look at the man, "But Dutch! This little pissant sliced me to ribbons! You don't expect me to just let him walk away without repaying him, do you?!"

The now-named Dutch stares at Revy, unimpressed, "damn right I do, Revy. If you want to get yourself killed, do it on your own time, don't drag the rest of us down with you."

Revy starts shrieking insults at Dutch and arguing that she should be allowed to try to murder Belphegor. The demon in question simply walks past Revy, now thoroughly disinterested in her and her fury. He passes the Japanese man, who flinches slightly at his passage, without so much as a glance and comes to a stop next to the twins. "Ushishishishi~ _so you're Gretel? The Prince went through a good deal of trouble to find you servant, be grateful~_ " He chimes.

Every head on the ship, aside from Hansel's, snaps around to stare at Belphegor in surprise when he started speaking Romanian. Gretel pulls away from her brother to stare up at Belphegor, " _you speak our language?_ " She questions in shock.

Belphegor grins down at her, " _The Prince thinks that should be obvious~_ "

Hansel beams over at his sister, "Prince Belphegor saved me from the Russian woman, he was incredible! He handled her and her sniper in seconds! And then when her reinforcements showed up, he intimidated them into fleeing! Even better, he's offered to make us his servants! We get the opportunity to learn under a more powerful Vampire, Sorella mea! He also says that he'll kill us if we so much as imply that he's a rapist or a paedophile, so please be careful not to offend him! And he promised that he'll protect us from anyone who IS like that. And.."

Belphegor cuts across Hansel's excited rambling, "you'll have plenty of time to inform your sister of what transpired while you were separated, as we get out of this city. While The Prince enjoyed the blood-saturated air that hangs over this city, he should be returning or he'll be late. Boss is annoying when he's been ignored for too long, so come along servants~" Belphegor spins on his heel and strides past the shell-shocked and somewhat ashen faced smuggling group.

"Coming, your Highness!" Hansel chirps as he bounds after Belphegor's retreating form.

Gretel hesitates for just a second, she's a little confused by the teenager that her brother is following, and more specifically WHY Hansel is following him, but she quickly beams just as widely as her brother as she hurries after them, "I'm coming as well, your Highness!" After all, if Hansel thinks he's worth serving, then so does she.

As the three head away from the boat Belphegor glances briefly at Gretel, he notices that the twins are completely identical aside from their hair and clothes, this means that they have to be monozygotic twins, born from the same egg that split in utero. Meaning that they are almost certainly the same gender, of course Gretel COULD be female, but that would only be the case if she lost her Y chromosome during cell division. He resolves himself to inform Luss when they arrive at the Varia. While Luss would have given them a full examination anyway, he will be more thorough if the twins are opposite genders, many health complications can arise from missing a chromosome, and they have sworn themselves to Belphegor's service, so he will not allow them to die from health complications before he has made full use of them.


End file.
